The gift of friendships for military moms

It can be tough for military moms to form friendships with others who grasp what they're facing. The good news? Military moms are everywhere....
(U.S. Army photo by Maria Yager)

If you’re a new military mom, you might be wondering if you’ll ever meet other moms who understand your heart. Our hearts are heavy with emotions when our children raise their hands to be part of the greatest military in the world.

You may have noticed that although your friends and family are well intended, they don’t exactly understand what you are feeling about your child’s new military career.

In general, it’s a challenge to meet friends as an adult. You might think it’s even more difficult to meet other moms with a child in the military. But it’s easier than you think!

With a little digging around, you can find other military moms that are traversing a path similar to yours. 

From social media groups to church groups, and volunteer opportunities, you can find like-minded friends who share your feelings.

Why having military mom friends matters

When my son deployed to Afghanistan for a year, I was inconsolable. While I supported my soldier 100 percent, my emotions got the best of me and fear took over. 

I cried often. My family told me my son would be OK. My friends listened but didn’t understand how I felt sending my son off to a dangerous place. For anyone who hasn’t experienced it themselves, it would be hard to understand. 

I often felt like I was losing it. Was I the only one that had these feelings?

As it turns out, no, I was not. I set out to find other moms who had children in the military. 

As military moms, we’re all this together. 

Wherever we come from, whatever we do, we all share the same heart. I’ve met the most amazing women that also helped shape my journey into a most positive experience.

Spanning many years now, these friendships have made our paths a little easier and the load a little lighter.

These are the type of friends that will be your “battle buddies”, the people you can call in the middle of the night when you need a shoulder to cry on.

You don’t need to explain yourself to military moms because they already understand. 

Related: Self-care is a must for military moms

Where to find military mom friends

friendship for military moms Mother's Day
Members of the Oregon Army National Guard 2nd Battalion 641 Aviation Regiment from Salem, Oregon, open cards at a special plated dinner in celebration of Mother’s Day during Exercise Maple Resolve 19-01 held on 3rd Canadian Division Support Base Det Wainwright Alberta, Canada May 12, 2019. The cards were individually prepared by fellow unit Guardsman and Cpt. Ray Jones, Battalion S-1, branch engineer for the 2-641, “We’re here, it is already a sacrifice to be gone during Mother’s Day and we acknowledge the additional sacrifice our moms are making,” said Jones. (U.S. Army Reserve photo by Spc. Khylee Woodford)

Where are all the military moms? They are everywhere. Look deeper into your community and you’ll find them. 

I visited an animal shelter recently and learned that one of the volunteers has a son in the Marines.

There you go. Any small conversation can lead to a new military mom friend.  

One day I saw a woman in the parking lot with Army Mom stickers all over her car. I approached her and introduced myself.

At that moment, we held hands together with tears in our eyes as we spoke fondly of our sons. She was a stranger to me. Yet, we understood each other in a heartfelt and emotional moment. 

I made another friend that day.

I don’t expect that everyone is comfortable approaching strangers with Army Mom stickers or shirts, so here are a few tips to find military mom friends:

Online social media

New friends don’t have to be in person. There are plenty of online support groups for moms of military servicemembers. Some groups cater to a specific military branch, while others focus on all branches. Private social media groups are great to share stories and get advice. 

I’ve had the pleasure to meet many military moms in person, with whom I had first conversed in online groups. We’ve also talked via phone or video calls.

Battle buddies are a wonderful gift to exchange support and encouragement.

Church groups 

Have you checked local churches for military mom support groups? Often, churches hold a variety of prayer groups that meet on a regular basis. Call around and see if a military mom prayer group is available. It’s a true blessing to join with a group of moms praying together for their sons and daughters. 

Can’t find one? Start one. Contact your church and see if you can hold a meeting once or twice a month. 

Volunteer

Feeling alone? Volunteering with a military non-profit organization can help. With so many military organizations, you’ll have ample opportunities to meet others and build relationships. 

One of the best things about volunteering is by serving those who serve, you also help yourself. 

You can also find military-focused non-profit organizations that are devoted to serving our veterans

Military moms’ community

Earline Gordon pins the rank of master sergeant on her son, Lekendrick Stallworth, military leadership instructor for Clemson University’s Army Reserve Officers’ Training Corps, in the first military promotion ceremony ever held in the Clemson Tigers’ new football headquarters, Dec. 17, 2018. ((Photo by Ken Scar/Army ROTC)

Many years ago I reached out to military moms in social media groups. Was there anyone out there that knew how I was feeling?

Several military moms responded to me with their own stories and let me know they understood. I felt better already and not so alone.

One military mom signed her private message to me, “Stay army mom strong”. With that, Army Mom Strong was born!

I can’t begin to explain how blessed I’ve been to be on this journey. It’s rewarding, life-changing, and a blessing.

Military mom friends can help lift you up and understand your heart. These friendships are a gift that can last a lifetime.

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